Vulgar words in Gargantua and Pantagruel (Page 3)
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Having then made shift to get up at noon, they pulled off their boots, and those that wanted to speak with a maid, alias piss, pissed; those that wanted to scumber, scumbered; and those that wanted to sneeze, sneezed.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,282 ~ ~ ~
Ay, ay, this is the world, and t'other is the country; may I never piss if this be not an antichthonian land, and our very antipodes.
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Damn him, cried Friar John, that's as true as I am his uncle.
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He's nothing but skin and bones; he has pissed his tallow.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,685 ~ ~ ~
But I must tell you that the vicar of Jambert ascribed this copious prolification of the women, not to that sort of food that we chiefly eat in Lent, but to the little licensed stooping mumpers, your little booted Lent-preachers, your little draggle-tailed father confessors, who during all that time of their reign damn all husbands that run astray three fathom and a half below the very lowest pit of hell.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,779 ~ ~ ~
I saw the skin of Apuleius's golden ass.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,788 ~ ~ ~
Friar John told us that in the days of yore two sorts of fishes used to abound in our courts of judicature, and rotted the bodies and tormented the souls of those who were at law, whether noble or of mean descent, high or low, rich or poor: the first were your April fish or mackerel (pimps, panders, and bawds); the others your beneficial remoras, that is, the eternity of lawsuits, the needless lets that keep 'em undecided.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,790 ~ ~ ~
Also some crocutas and some eali as big as sea-horses, with elephants' tails, boars' jaws and tusks, and horns as pliant as an ass's ears.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,835 ~ ~ ~
Near the port there's a little hamlet inhabited by the Lychnobii, that live by lanterns, as the gulligutted friars in our country live by nuns; they are studious people, and as honest men as ever shit in a trumpet.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,844 ~ ~ ~
The lanterns of the royal blood were clad partly with bastard-diamonds, partly with diaphanous stones; the rest with horn, paper, and oiled cloth.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,936 ~ ~ ~
Heaven would sooner send down a shower of them; even as in Provence, in the fields of La Crau, near Mariannes, there rained stones (they are there to this day) to help Hercules, who otherwise wanted wherewithal to fight Neptune's two bastards.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,954 ~ ~ ~
Come on, move on, piss, pish, push on.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,999 ~ ~ ~
He was a diminutive, stooping, palsied, plump, gorbellied old fellow, with a swingeing pair of stiff-standing lugs of his own, a sharp Roman nose, large rough eyebrows, mounted on a well-hung ass.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,026 ~ ~ ~
All his army were crowned with ivy; their javelins, bucklers, and drums were also wholly covered with it; there was not so much as Silenus's ass but was betrapped with it.
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Which done, she ordered him to sit down between two stools placed there for that purpose, his arse upon the ground.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,191 ~ ~ ~
Will he rid us of his damned company, to go shite out his nasty rhyming balderdash in some bog-house?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,222 ~ ~ ~
Panurge, pulling off his gaberdine and mystical accoutrements, replied: Wherefore thou shalt, thou filthy beast, Be damned twelve fathoms deep at least; While I shall reign in Paradise, Whence on thy loggerhead I'll piss.