Vulgar words in Bible Romances - First Series (Page 1)

This book at a glance

ass x 23
bastard x 1
damn x 1
jackass x 3
white trash x 1
            
whore x 1
            

Page 1

~   ~   ~   Sentence 9   ~   ~   ~

BALAAM'S ASS.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 423   ~   ~   ~

He had perhaps just visited the infernal regions to see that everything was ready for the reception of the miserable creatures he meant to damn, or to assure himself that the Devil was really not at home; and was anxious to cool himself before returning to his celestial abode, as well as to purify himself from the sulphurous taint which might else have sent a shudder through all the seraphic hosts.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 594   ~   ~   ~

It may be that the whole menagerie of Eden spoke in the human tongue, and that Balaam's ass was only what the biologists would call "a case of reversion" to the primitive type.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,594   ~   ~   ~

BALAAM'S ASS.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,600   ~   ~   ~

After many desperate efforts he at last succeeded in calling out the patriarch's name, as nearly as the vocal organs of a jackass would allow.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,602   ~   ~   ~

Noah's attention was at last aroused, and on looking out of window to see who was calling, he perceived the poor jackass almost spent and faintly battling with the waves.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,608   ~   ~   ~

Drunken and impotent Silenus, in the Pagan mythology, joins in the professions of Bacchus on a sober ass, and the patient animal staggers beneath the heavy burden of a fat-paunched tipsy god.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,609   ~   ~   ~

Apulius and Lucian transform the hero of their common story into an ass, and in that shape he encounters the most surprising experiences.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,610   ~   ~   ~

Voltaire makes an ass play a wonderful part in his "Pucelle."

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,627   ~   ~   ~

And lastly, Coleridge has some very pious musings on an ass, wherein the animal is lifted into the sphere of religion.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,630   ~   ~   ~

Secondly, I wished to lead you through the various stages of literary treatment of the ass, from the comic to the pathetic, and finally to-the religious, in order that you might approach in a proper frame of mind the consideration of Balaam's ass, who is the most remarkable of all the four-legged asses mentioned in the Bible.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,633   ~   ~   ~

Jesus rode into Jerusalem on an ass, and also apparently on a colt, having probably one leg over each.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,634   ~   ~   ~

With the jawbone of an ass Samson slew a thousand Philistines; and if the rest of the animal accorded with that particular bone, he must have been a tough ass indeed.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,635   ~   ~   ~

But all these are of little interest or importance beside the wonderful ass of the prophet Balaam, whose history is contained, with that of his master, in the twenty-second, twenty-third, and twenty-fourth chapters of the Book of Numbers.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,689   ~   ~   ~

So the prophet rose up in the morning, saddled and mounted his wonderful ass, and went off with the princes of Moab.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,701   ~   ~   ~

Being only an ass, and not a man, he had a greater aptitude for seeing angels.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,705   ~   ~   ~

The angel of the Lord had apparently, in the meantime, made himself invisible even to a jackass.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,714   ~   ~   ~

* Balaam's ass was a "she," but the sex is immaterial, and as we commenced with the masculine gender we will continue with it.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,720   ~   ~   ~

Singular to relate, Balaam was not in the least astonished at hearing an ass speak.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,728   ~   ~   ~

Then the ass rejoined, "Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day?

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,741   ~   ~   ~

Now, dear reader, you will observe that the ass, being indeed an ass, saw the angel first, and that Balaam, who was a wise man, did not see the angel until his wits were disordered by the wonder of a talking donkey.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,744   ~   ~   ~

The angel of the Lord said to Balaam, while he remained flat on his face, "Wherefore hast thou smitten thine ass these three times?

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,751   ~   ~   ~

When the Lord "opened his eyes," and made his vision like unto the vision of an ass, he saw the angel plainly enough; and how could he possibly have done so before?

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,789   ~   ~   ~

Here endeth the story of Balaam's Ass.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,861   ~   ~   ~

Soon after Joshua, being near Jericho, like Balaam's ass saw an angel with a drawn sword in his hand.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,877   ~   ~   ~

The Jews "utterly destroyed all there was in the city, both man and woman, young and old, and ox, and sheep, and ass, with the edge of the sword."

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,979   ~   ~   ~

And yet they would not hearken unto their judges, but they went a whoring after other gods, and bowed themselves unto them; and they turned quickly out of the way which their fathers walked in, obeying the commandments of the Lord; but they did not so..... And it came to pass, when the judge was dead, that they returned and corrupted themselves more than their fathers, in following other Gods to serve them, and to bow down unto them; they ceased not from their own doings, nor from their stubborn way."

~   ~   ~   Sentence 2,121   ~   ~   ~

All his children were pale too; and that, said the preacher, "accounts for de white trash you see ebery war in dese days."

~   ~   ~   Sentence 2,360   ~   ~   ~

These improper females were by no means ashamed of their action; on the contrary, they boast of their bastards; and the historian does not utter a word in condemnation of their crime.

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