Vulgar words in Cent nouvelles nouvelles (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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~ ~ ~ Sentence 79 ~ ~ ~
_Of a merchant who locked up in a bin his wife's lover, and she secretly put an ass there which caused her husband to be covered with confusion._ STORY THE SIXTY-SECOND -- THE LOST RING.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 96 ~ ~ ~
_Of a married gentleman who made many long voyages, during which time his good and virtuous wife made the acquaintance of three good fellows, as you will hear; and how she confessed her amours to her husband when he returned from his travels, thinking she was confessing to the curé, and how she excused herself, as will appear._ STORY THE SEVENTY-NINTH -- THE LOST ASS FOUND.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 97 ~ ~ ~
_Of a good man of Bourbonnais who went to seek the advice of a wise man of that place about an ass that he had lost, and how he believed that he miraculously recovered the said ass, as you will hear hereafter._ STORY THE EIGHTIETH -- GOOD MEASURE!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 98 ~ ~ ~
_Of a young German girl, aged fifteen or sixteen or thereabouts who was married to a gentle gallant, and who complained that her husband had too small an organ for her liking, because she had seen a young ass of only six months old which had a bigger instrument than her husband, who was 24 or 26 years old._ STORY THE EIGHTY-FIRST -- BETWEEN TWO STOOLS.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 247 ~ ~ ~
He called him rascal, and whore-monger, and drunkard, and many other names, which made those who were in the chamber laugh long and loud; but his wife could not join in the mirth, her face being pressed to the side of her new friend.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 248 ~ ~ ~
"Ha!" said the husband, "Master whore-monger, you have well hidden from me this good cheer; but, by my faith, though I was not at the feast, you must show me the bride."
~ ~ ~ Sentence 272 ~ ~ ~
are you still there you rascally whore-monger?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 672 ~ ~ ~
disgraceful hussy!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 762 ~ ~ ~
And what is more, you cannot be ignorant that in so doing you damn your own soul."
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,095 ~ ~ ~
The gentleman, who made love whenever he found a chance, did not conceal from the fair wench his intentions towards her, and made attempts upon her virtue, promising her many rich gifts, and explaining to her that it was her duty to let him have his way, and trying first this way and then that to seduce her.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,487 ~ ~ ~
She decided that she would behave in such a way that, unless he were more stupid than an ass, he would know what she wanted of him; and, to carry out her design, this lusty wench, who was young, fresh, and buxom, often brought her sewing to where the clerk was, and talked to him of a hundred thousand matters, most of them about love.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,506 ~ ~ ~
"By my word," said she, "I am not afraid of you, and I will pass the line and see what you will do," and so saying the merry hussy made a little jump which took her well over the line.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,670 ~ ~ ~
Therefore it seems good to me--subject to your good pleasure--that there should be made for me a man's dress and that I should be escorted by my uncle, the bastard, each mounted on a stout horse.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,674 ~ ~ ~
They set out on their journey, the fair Katherine and her uncle, the bastard, without any other companion.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,675 ~ ~ ~
Katherine, who was dressed in the German fashion very elegantly, was the master, and her uncle, the bastard, was the serving man.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,739 ~ ~ ~
"Ah, you speak as you wish," said Gerard, "but I do not believe that women are so true as to always remain faithful to their vows; and those who believe in them are blockheads.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,877 ~ ~ ~
The poor blockhead said that he was not angry with her, because she knew nothing about it, but that he would certainly punish her women.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,526 ~ ~ ~
"Wicked whore that you are!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,535 ~ ~ ~
That's a nice salutation, to call me a whore!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,738 ~ ~ ~
Her husband grew angry, and cried, "You lie, you whore!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,911 ~ ~ ~
She came so often that the clerk at last made love to her, and she, being desirous to put on her hauberk again, listened to his petition, and replied; "Come to me at a certain time, in such a chamber, and I will give you a reply that will please you."
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,006 ~ ~ ~
So it was ordered that he should remain priest, and married, and curé also; and that he should live with his wife as a married man, honourably and without reproach, and that his children should be legitimate and not bastards, although their father was a priest.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,151 ~ ~ ~
"And catch your quartain fever!" said the curé, "beastly dirty, ill-mannered whore that you are!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,222 ~ ~ ~
The good lord saw and knew that his wife was unfaithful, and inclined to play the whore, but the sense that God had given him, told him that there was no remedy except to hold his tongue or die, for he had often both seen and read that nothing would cure a woman of that complaint.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,627 ~ ~ ~
As they were returning from this pilgrimage, during which the curé had made love as he best could,--that is to say by glances and other little devices--the husband caused himself to be sent for by a messenger he had instructed, to come at once to a lord of that country.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,662 ~ ~ ~
They talked also of other matters, and some of their phrases had a bawdy meaning; and the worthy shepherd, who was neither a fool nor a blockhead, swore to them that he was prepared to undertake to do the job eight or nine times in one night.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,736 ~ ~ ~
This good fellow, notwithstanding that he had a virtuous and prudent wife, made love day and night with whomsoever he had a chance, and as often as possible.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,845 ~ ~ ~
_Of a merchant who locked up in a bin his wife's lover, and she secretly put an ass there which caused her husband to be covered with confusion._ It happened once that in a large town of Hainault there lived a good merchant married to a worthy woman.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,881 ~ ~ ~
"We have in the stable," she said, "an ass, that we will put in if you will help me."
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,915 ~ ~ ~
And when they saw that it was an ass, and that they had been befooled, they cursed the merchant, and showered more abuse on him than ever St. Peter had praise, and even the women inveighed against him.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 4,023 ~ ~ ~
Montbleru took them to the principal church in Antwerp, where there is a God on an ass (*).
~ ~ ~ Sentence 4,027 ~ ~ ~
Then he showed them God mounted on an ass, and added, "You will never fail to find Him here at whatever hour you come."
~ ~ ~ Sentence 4,621 ~ ~ ~
***** STORY THE SEVENTY-NINTH -- THE LOST ASS FOUND.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 4,623 ~ ~ ~
_Of a good man of Bourbonnais who went to seek the advice of a wise man of that place about an ass that he had lost, and how he believed that he miraculously recovered the said ass, as you will hear hereafter._ In the fair land of Bourbonnais, where many good professions are carried on, there lived, not long ago, a doctor of God knows what sort, for never Hippocrates or Galen practised the science as he did.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 4,642 ~ ~ ~
_Of a young German girl, aged fifteen or sixteen or thereabouts who was married to a gentle gallant, and who complained that her husband had too small an organ for her liking, because she had seen a young ass of only six months old which had a bigger instrument than her husband, who was 24 or 26 years old._ I have heard it related as true by two noble lords worthy of faith and belief, that in the borders of Germany there lived a young girl, who at the age of about 15 or 16 years was married to a worthy gentleman, who did his best to satisfy the demands which, without saying a word, all girls of that age and condition earnestly ask for.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 4,666 ~ ~ ~
"There is a little ass in the house, hardly half a year old, and who has an instrument as big, as thick, and as long as your arm,"--and so saying she held her arm by the elbow and shook it up and down--"and my husband, who is quite 24 years old has but that little bit he has shown you.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 5,608 ~ ~ ~
The lady was,--scandal averred--Mariette d'Enghien, the mother of the brave and handsome Comte de Dunois, known in French history as "the bastard of Orléans."