Vulgar words in Round-about Rambles in Lands of Fact and Fancy (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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CONTENTS WINTER IN THE WOODS TRICKS OF LIGHT SAVING THE TOLL THE REAL KING OF BEASTS THE FRENCH SOLDIER-BOY A LIVELY WAY TO RING A BELL DOWN IN THE EARTH THE LION BOB'S HIDING-PLACE THE CONTINENTAL SOLDIER A JUDGE OF MUSIC THE SENSITIVE PLANT SIR MARMADUKE THE GIRAFFE UP IN THE AIR THE ARABIAN HORSE INDIAN-PUDDINGS: PUMPKIN-PIES LIVING IN SMOKE THE CANNON OF THE PALAIS-ROYAL WATERS, DEEP AND SHALLOW HANS THE HERB-GATHERER SOME CUNNING INSECTS A FIRST SIGHT OF THE SEA THE LARGEST CHURCH IN THE WORLD THE SOFT PLACE A FEW FEATHERED FRIENDS IN A WELL A VEGETABLE GAS MANUFACTORY ABOUT BEARS AN OLD COUNTRY-HOUSE FAR-AWAY FORESTS BUILDING SHIPS THE ORANG-OUTANG LITTLE BRIDGET'S BATH SOME NOVEL FISHING EAGLES AND LITTLE GIRLS CLIMBING MOUNTAINS ANDREW'S PLAN THE WILD ASS ANCIENT RIDING BEAUTIFUL BUGS A BATTLE ON STILTS DRAWING THE LONG BOW AN ANCIENT THEATRE BIRD CHAT MUMMIES TAME SNAKES GYMNASTICS BUYING "THE MIRROR" BIG GAME THE BOOTBLACK'S DOG GOING AFTER THE COWS THE REFLECTIVE STAG WHEN WE MUST NOT BELIEVE OUR EYES A CITY UNDER THE GROUND THE COACHMAN GEYSERS, AND HOW THEY WORK A GIANT PUFF-BALL TICKLED BY A STRAW THE LIGHT IN THE CASTLE THE OAK TREE THE SEA-SIDE THE SICK PIKE TWO KINDS OF BLOSSOMS ABOUT GLASS CARL SCHOOL'S OUT NEST-BUILDERS THE BOOMERANG LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS _Frontispiece._ The Woodcutter The Minstrel on the Wall Tricks in a Church The Dance of Demons Nostradamus The Lion's Head The Theatrical Ghost The Toll-bridge A Royal Procession An Elephant after Him The Dog's Protector An Elephant Nurse Saving the Artillery-man The Gallant Elephant The French Soldier-Boy On a Bell Fishes found in the Mammoth Cave The Bottomless Pit The Lion's Home The Uncaged Lion A Lion's Dinner A Terrible Companion Off to the Kitchen Blind Man's Buff The Story-Teller In the Cellar Handing round the Apples The Drummer of 1776 The Continental Soldier The Donkey in the Parlor Sir Marmaduke The Giraffe Above the Clouds The Flying Man The Parachute--shut The Parachute--open Le Flesseles Bagnolet's Balloon Coming down Roughly A Balloon with Sails and Rudders The Minerva Safe Ballooning Driven out to Sea The Arabian Horse In the Cornfield A Big Mosquito Exactly Noon The Spring The Brook The Mill The Cascade The Great River Falls of Gavarni The Falls of Zambesi Niagara Fishing with a Net Fishing with a Spear Sponge-Fishing A Pearl Oyster Divers Rough Water The Iceberg The Storm The Shipwreck Water-Spouts A Bit of Cable Hans, the Herb-Gatherer Patsey A Spider at Home The Ant's Arch The Cock-chafer's Wing The Spider's Bridge The Moth and the Bees Learned Fleas The Pacific St. Peter's at Rome Interior of St. Peter's The Five Young Deer Waking Up Familiar Friends The Pigeon The Dove The Swan The Goose that Led The Goose that Followed The Sensible Duck The Goldfinch The Magpie The Owl Morning Singers In a Well The Fraxinella A Company of Bears The Black Bear The Grizzly Bear The White Bear The Tame Bear An old Country-House Ancient Builders The Pine Forest Tree Ferns Tropical Forest The Giant Trees The Great Eastern The Orang-Outang Bridget and the Fairies Flat-Fish Turbots The Sea-Horse The Cuttle-Fish The Polypier Tunnies The Sword-Fish The Shark The Child and the Eagle Climbing the Mountain Andrew and Jenny Wild Asses The Palanquin The Chariot Transformation of Beetles A Battle on Stilts Drawing the Long Bow The Colosseum The Cormorants The Bittern The Pelican The Hoopoe The Falcon The Mummy The Stand The Coffin The Outside Coffin The Sarcophagus The Tame Snake The Novel Team Youngsters Fighting Throwing the Hammer Throwing the Stone Thomas Topham Venetian Acrobats The Tight-Rope The See-Saw The Wild Boar The Musk-Ox and the Sailor Hunting the Brown Bear A Brave Hippopotamus A Rhinocerus Turning the Table A Tiger-Hunt A Fight with a Gorilla The Boot-black's Dog Going after the Cows The Reflective Stag The Mirage Fata Morgana The Spectre of the Brocken A Narrow Street in Pompeii A Cleared Street in Pompeii The Atrium in the House of Pansa Ornaments from Pompeii A Pompeiian Bakery The Amphitheatre of Pompeii The Coachman The Grand Geyser The Artificial Geyser A Giant Puff-ball Tickled by a Straw The Will-o'-the-Wisp The Oak Tree The Sea-Side The Vessels on Shore The Sick Pike The Blossoms Ice-Blossoms Ice-Flowers Ancient Bead Venetian Bottle German Drinking-Glass Glass Jug Making Bottles Venetian Goblet Modern Goblets The Queen's Mirror Bohemian Goblet French Flagon The Portland Vase The Strange Lady Carl and the Duke The Dominie Wrens' Nests Orioles' Nest Owl's Nests Flamingoes' Nests The little Grebe's Nest The Ostrich-Nest The Stork's Nest A Fish's Nest Throwing the Boomerang The Way the Boomerang Goes PREFACE Come along, boys and girls!
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I never heard the name of the song--whether it was "I'm sitting on the stile, Mary," or "A watcher, pale and weary"--but if it was the latter, I am not surprised that it should have overcome even a jackass.
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That was a lively concert; but it was soon ended by the lady rushing from the room and sending her man John to drive out the musical jackass with a big stick.
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The nearest that the majority of jackasses come to being votaries of music is when their skins are used for covering cases for musical instruments.
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THE WILD ASS.
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If there is any animal in the whole world that receives worse treatment or is held in less esteem than the ordinary Jackass, I am very sorry for it.
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With the exception of a few warm countries, where this animal grows to a large size, and is highly valued, the Jackass or Donkey is everywhere considered a stupid beast, a lazy beast, an obstinate beast, and very often a vicious beast.
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To liken any one to a Jackass is to use very strong language.
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There can be no reasonable doubt but that the domestic Ass is descended from the Wild Ass of Asia and Africa, for the two animals are so much alike that it would be impossible, by the eye alone, to distinguish the one from the other.
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The tame Ass is gentle, and generally fond of the society of man; the wild Ass is one of the shyest creatures in the world; even when caught it is almost impossible to tame him.
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The tame Ass is slow, plodding, dull, and lazy; the wild Ass is as swift as a race-horse and as wild as a Deer.
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If any of you were by accident to get near enough to a wild Ass to observe him closely, you would be very apt to suppose him to be one of those long-eared fellows which must be beaten and stoned and punched with sticks, if you want to get them into the least bit of a trot, and which always want to stop by the roadside, if they see so much as a cabbage-leaf or a tempting thistle.
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And yet if some of these fleet and spirited animals should be captured, and they and their descendants for several generations should be exposed to all sorts of privations and hardships; worked hard as soon as their spirits were broken, fed on mean food and very little of it; beaten, kicked, and abused; exposed to cold climates, to which their nature does not suit them, and treated in every way as our Jackasses are generally treated, they would soon become as slow, poky, and dull as any Donkey you ever saw.
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If we have nothing else, it is very well to have a good ancestry, and no nobleman in Europe is proportionately as well descended as the Jackass.