Vulgar words in The works of John Dryden, $c now first collected in eighteen volumes. $p Volume 06 (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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This all the herd of letchers straight alarms; From Charing-Cross to Bow was up in arms: They damn'd the play all at one fatal blow, And broke the glass, that did their picture show."
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Next summer, Nostradamus tells, they say, That all the critics shall be shipped away, And not enow be left to damn a play.
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_Gerv._ If I were worthy to read you a lecture in the mystery of wickedness, I would instruct you first in the art of seeming holiness: But, heaven be thanked, you have a toward and pregnant genius to vice, and need not any man's instruction; and I am too good, I thank my stars, for the vile employment of a pimp.
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the rogue would humble a whore, I warrant him.--You are welcome, sir, amongst us; most heartily welcome, as I may say.
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There is another, too, a kept mistress, a brave strapping jade, a two-handed whore!
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_Trick._ You will never leave these fumbling tricks, father, till you are taken up on suspicion of manhood, and have a bastard laid at your door: I am sure you would own it, for your credit.
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My employment is at an end; you have got a better pimp, thanks to your filial reverence.
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_Limb._ Let her be a mistress for a pope, like a whore of Babylon, as she is.
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He makes love to one of them, I am confident; it may be to both; for, methinks, I should have done so, if I had been a man; but the damned petticoats have perverted me to honesty, and therefore I have a grudge to him for the privilege of his sex.
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he is an ass already; he has a handsome mistress, and you shall make an ox of him ere long.
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we must make haste; for I expect a whole bevy of whores, a chamber-full of temptation this afternoon: 'tis my day of audience.
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_Aldo._ Before George, there is not enough to rig out a mournival of whores: They'll think me grown a mere curmudgeon.
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_Aldo._ Well, somewhat in ornament for the body, somewhat in counsel for the mind; one thing must help out another, in this bad world: Whoring must go on.
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_Aldo._ Bless thee, and make thee a substantial, thriving whore.
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_Aldo._ We must get her a husband then in the city; they bite rarely at a stale whore at this end of the town, new furbished up in a tawdry manteau.
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_Mrs Term._ The last I had was with young Caster, that son-of-a-whore gamester: he brought me to taverns, to draw in young cullies, while he bubbled them at play; and, when he had picked up a considerable sum, and should divide, the cheating dog would sink my share, and swear,--Damn him, he won nothing.
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And what mads me most, I carry a bastard of the rogue's in my belly; and now he turns me off, and will not own it.
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_Term._ Come, you are an illiterate whore.
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down, you little jades, and worship him; it is the genius of whoring.
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whores of all sorts; forkers and ruin-tailed: Now come I gingling in with my bells, and fly at the whole covey.
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[_The Whores run out, followed by_ SAINTLY, PLEASANCE, _and_ JUDITH.
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one of my daughters is big with bastard, and she laid at her gascoins most unmercifully!
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_Wood._ I am sure I am no bastard; witness one good quality I have.
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Dryden mentions, "an easy Whetstone whore."
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Let none of you damned Woodalls of the pit, Put in for shares to mend our breed in wit; We know your bastards from our flesh and blood, Not one in ten of yours e'er comes to good.
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Alluding to an old proverb, that whoso goes to Westminster for a wife, to St Paul's for a man, and to Smithfield for a horse, may meet with a whore, a knave, and a jade.
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Damn it in silence, lest the world should hear.
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If, notwithstanding all that we can say, You needs will have your penn'orths of the play, And come resolved to damn, because you pay, Record it, in memorial of the fact, The first play buried since the woollen act.
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To thy own kind Make love, if thou canst find it in the world; And seek not from our sex to raise an offspring, Which, mingled with the rest, would tempt the gods, To cut off human kind.
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When Greece and Rome have smiled upon this birth, You can but damn for one poor spot of earth; And when your children find your judgment such, They'll scorn their sires, and wish themselves born Dutch; Each haughty poet will infer with ease, How much his wit must under-write to please.
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But he could not be insensible to the merit of this scene, though he has supplied it by one far inferior, in which Ulysses is introduced, using gross flattery to the buffoon Thersites.
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Thus, the same man may be liberal and valiant, but not liberal and covetous; so in a comical character, or humour, (which is an inclination to this or that particular folly) Falstaff is a liar, and a coward, a glutton, and a buffoon, because all these qualities may agree in the same man; yet it is still to be observed, that one virtue, vice, and passion, ought to be shown in every man, as predominant over all the rest; as covetousness in Crassus, love of his country in Brutus; and the same in characters which are feigned.
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CALCHAS, _a Trojan Priest, and Father to_ CRESSIDA, _a fugitive to the Grecian camp._ AGAMEMNON, } ULYSSES, } ACHILLES, } AJAX, } _Grecian Warriors, engaged in the_ NESTOR, } _siege of Troy._ DIOMEDES, } PATROCLUS, } MENELAUS, } THERSITES, _a slanderous Buffoon._ CRESSIDA, _Daughter to_ CALCHAS.
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_Agam._ Fortune was merry When he was born, and played a trick on nature, To make a mimic prince; he ne'er acts ill, But when he would seem wise: For all he says or does, from serious thought, Appears so wretched, that he mocks his title, And is his own buffoon.
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_Thers._ Ay, when you need a man, you talk of giving, For wit's a dear commodity among you; But when you do not want him, then stale porridge, A starved dog would not lap, and furrow water, Is all the wine we taste: give drabs and pimps; I'll have no gifts with hooks at end of them.
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[_Strikes him._ _Thers._ Thou scurvy valiant ass!
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Dogs, lions, bulls, for females tear and gore; And the beast, man, is valiant for his whore.
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_Thers._ If I could have remembered an ass with gilt trappings, thou hadst not slipped out of my contemplation.
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_Thers._ Would the fountain of his mind were clear, that he might see an ass in it!
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I'll after him; nothing but whoring in this age; all incontinent rascals!
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Patroclus will give me any thing for the intelligence of this whore; a parrot will not do more for an almond, than he will for a commodious drab:--I would I could meet with this rogue Diomede too: I would croak like a raven to him; I would bode: it shall go hard but I'll find him out.
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She only wants an opportunity; Her soul's a whore already.
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If I sought peace now, I could tell 'em there's punk enough to satisfy 'em both: whore sufficient!
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May each of them dream he sees his cockatrice in t'other's arms; and be stabbing one another in their sleep, to remember them of their business when they wake: let them be punctual to the point of honour; and, if it were possible, let both be first at the place of execution; let neither of them have cogitation enough, to consider 'tis a whore they fight for; and let them value their lives at as little as they are worth: and lastly, let no succeeding fools take warning by them; but, in imitation of them, when a strumpet is in question, Let them beneath their feet all reason trample, And think it great to perish by example.
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I shall be mistaken for some valiant ass, and die a martyr in a wrong religion.
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_Troj._ A bastard son of Priam's.
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A bear will not fasten upon a bear; why should one bastard offend another!
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Let us part fair, like true sons of whores, and have the fear of our mothers before our eyes.
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Now would I were that blockhead Ajax for a minute.
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The French and we still change; but here's the curse, They change for better, and we change for worse; They take up our old trade of conquering, And we are taking theirs, to dance and sing: Our fathers did, for change, to France repair, And they, for change, will try our English air; As children, when they throw one toy away, Strait a more foolish gewgaw comes in play: So we, grown penitent, on serious thinking, Leave whoring, and devoutly fall to drinking.
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You are in for years, if you make love to me.
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This jacobin, whom I have sent to, is her confessor; and who can suspect a man of such reverence for a pimp?
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_Leo._ This 'tis, to counsel things that are unjust; First, to debauch a king to break his laws, Which are his safety, and then seek protection From him you have endangered; but, just heaven, When sins are judged, will damn the tempting devil, More deep than those he tempted.
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_Dom._ Farewell, kind gentlemen; I give you all my blessing before I go.--May your sisters, wives, and daughters, be so naturally lewd, that they may have no occasion for a devil to tempt, or a friar to pimp for them.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 7,487 ~ ~ ~
(as Rome objects) does want These ghostly comforts for the falling saint: This gains them their whore-converts, and may be One reason of the growth of popery.