Vulgar words in Shapes of Clay (Page 1)

This book at a glance

ass x 10
bastard x 1
brain x 1
buffoon x 1
cuss x 2
            
damn x 2
hussy x 1
jackass x 2
            

Page 1

~   ~   ~   Sentence 140   ~   ~   ~

If ther' was a cuss We didn't know, the cause was--he knowed us.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 144   ~   ~   ~

"You ain't so purty now as you was then: Yer eyes is nothin' but two prospect holes, An' women which are hitched to better men Would hardly for sech glances damn their souls, As Lengthie did.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 382   ~   ~   ~

"I've shaved this cuss so thin and true He'll spot a fog in South Peru.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 411   ~   ~   ~

The browsing ass looks up and clears his whistle To say: "A monologue upon the thistle!"

~   ~   ~   Sentence 703   ~   ~   ~

For me--unread in the occult, I'm fain To damn all mysteries alike as vain, Spurn the obscure and base my faith upon The Revelations of the good St. John.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 740   ~   ~   ~

Presumptuous ass!

~   ~   ~   Sentence 927   ~   ~   ~

The Moslem deprecates the deed, Cuts off the head that holds the creed, Then reverently goes to grass, Muttering thanks to Balaam's Ass For faith and learning to refute Idolatry so dissolute!

~   ~   ~   Sentence 967   ~   ~   ~

Engraven on its foremost page These title-words the eye engage: "The Life of Muley Ben Maroon, Of Astrabad--Rogue, Thief, Buffoon And Miser--Liver by the Sweat Of Better Men: A Lamponette Composed in Rhyme and Written all By Meerza Solyman Zingall!"

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,003   ~   ~   ~

Straight into that assembly gravely marched without a wink An ancient ass--the property it was of Mr. Fink.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,042   ~   ~   ~

The world has forgotten his glory; The wagoner sings on his wain, And Chauncey Depew tells a story, And jackasses laugh in the lane.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,207   ~   ~   ~

The hussy!

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,479   ~   ~   ~

But 't is patent why Hot-head his wrath holds in, And Faint-heart her terror and loathing; For the one's but an ass in a lion's skin, The other a wolf in sheep's clothing.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,507   ~   ~   ~

Audacity divine-- Of clowns the terror and of brains the sign-- Not thou the inspirer of the rushing fool, Not thine of idiots the vocal drool: Thy bastard sister of the brow of brass, Presumption, actuates the charging ass.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,537   ~   ~   ~

The maiden ass, the maiden ass, The tall and tailless jenny!

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,613   ~   ~   ~

"Go back," he growled, "you tiresome ass-- Go back and rest till the next war, Nor kill by methods all abhor: Miasma, famine, filth and vice, With plagues of locusts, plagues of lice, Foul food, foul water, and foul gases, Rank exhalations from morasses.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,885   ~   ~   ~

Detested simian with thumb prehensile, Switch _me_ and I would brain you with my pencil!

~   ~   ~   Sentence 2,010   ~   ~   ~

Down in Southern Arizona where the Gila monster thrives, And the "Mescalero," gifted with a hundred thousand lives, Every hour renounces one of them by drinking liquid flame-- The assassinating wassail that has given him his name; Where the enterprising dealer in Caucasian hair is seen To hold his harvest festival upon his village-green, While the late lamented tenderfoot upon the plain is spread With a sanguinary circle on the summit of his head; Where the cactuses (or cacti) lift their lances in the sun, And incautious jackass-rabbits come to sorrow as they run, Lived a colony of settlers--old Missouri was the State Where they formerly resided at a prehistoric date.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 2,533   ~   ~   ~

As the poor ass that from his paddock strays Might sound abroad his field-companions' praise, Recounting volubly their well-bred leer, Their port impressive and their wealth of ear, Mistaking for the world's assent the clang Of echoes mocking his accurst harangue; So the dull clown, untraveled though at large, Visits the city on the ocean's marge, Expands his eyes and marvels to remark Each coastwise schooner and each alien bark; Prates of "all nations," wonders as he stares That native merchants sell imported wares, Nor comprehends how in his very view A foreign vessel has a foreign crew; Yet, faithful to the hamlet of his birth, Swears it superior to aught on earth, Sighs for the temples locally renowned-- The village school-house and the village pound-- And chalks upon the palaces of Rome The peasant sentiments of "Home, Sweet Home!"

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