Vulgar words in The Gentleman from Everywhere (Page 1)

This book at a glance

ass x 2
cuss x 3
damn x 1
dumb ass x 3
make love x 1
            

Page 1

~   ~   ~   Sentence 189   ~   ~   ~

It seems but yesterday that he and I were enjoying a game of "pickknife," lacerating the top of a new desk, when in rushed the "D.D." with his feet encased in the thinnest of slippers and with which he gave me a kick which broke his toe, then clasping it in his hand, danced on one leg, whooping unconsciously cuss word ejaculations till we shrieked with laughter; then he bumped our heads together until my big brother shook the dominie-pedagogue as a dog would a rat, and threatened that if he ever struck my head again he would drown him in the horsepond.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 231   ~   ~   ~

This theologue, like many of his cloth, was possessed of the insane impression that he was gifted with the sublime inspiration of eloquence, and being invited to preach on his return to the old home for vacation, he selected the somewhat startling text "and the dumb ass opened his mouth and spake."

~   ~   ~   Sentence 234   ~   ~   ~

"My friends," said he, "we are informed by the holy book that this dumb ass opened his mouth and spake."

~   ~   ~   Sentence 235   ~   ~   ~

Then pulling his hair in desperation, he repeated the text several times, when he was interrupted by the disgusted pastor, who jumped to his feet and shouted: "Well, friends, as the dumb ass has nothing to say, let us pray."

~   ~   ~   Sentence 520   ~   ~   ~

The orator was annoyed at being called professor, and trying to be "funny," commenced by saying: "I am not Professor Holmes, nor his man-servant, nor his maid-servant, nor his ox, nor his ass--" At this point, quick as a flash, up jumped one of our wharf rats, and shouted: "Well, if you ain't Professor Holmes' ass, whose ass be ye?"

~   ~   ~   Sentence 914   ~   ~   ~

Let's hear what the cuss has to say; he's a cool un."

~   ~   ~   Sentence 941   ~   ~   ~

'I've gut the cuss,' he shouted, 'and I'll hold him here till he freezes to death.'

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,119   ~   ~   ~

Damn!

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,550   ~   ~   ~

The trial took place during my enforced absence; my enemies' crafty attorney told the jury that my failure to appear was a sure evidence of guilt; my doctor's affidavit that he sent me away to save my life was not allowed to be presented in court; each plaintiff claimed to have heard the statements imputed to have been made by me to the others, one of them making love to, and afterwards marrying one of my most important witnesses, and so the verdict was against me.

Page 1