Vulgar words in The works of John Dryden, $c now first collected in eighteen volumes. $p Volume 02 (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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_Serjeants, Boy to LOVEBY, Servants, a Bawd and Whores, Watch and Constable_.
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On condition you'll take it for a courtesy to be rid of an ass, I care not if I marry him: the old fool, your father, would be so importunate to match you with a young fool, that, partly for quietness sake, I am content to take him.
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Huswife Constance, I'll have you into my larder, and shew you my provision: I have cockles, dainty fat cockles, that came in the night; if they had seen the day, I would not have given a fart for 'em.
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Then I am sure you mean to jilt me: You decline Failer, because he has wit; and you think me such an ass, that you may pack me off so soon as you are married; no, no, I'll not venture certainties for uncertainties.
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Sir Timorous little knows how dangerous a person he has employed in making love.--[Aloud.
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Art thou such an ass, as not to perceive thou art abused?
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as you are an ass, sir?
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Well, it shall be more out of thy way than thou imaginest, devil: I'll turn parson, and be at open defiance with thee: I'll lay the wickedness of all people upon thee, though thou art never so innocent; I'll convert thy bawds and whores; I'll Hector thy gamesters, that they shall not dare to swear, curse, or bubble; nay, I'll set thee out so, that thy very usurers and aldermen shall fear to have to do with thee.
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_Enter Lady Du_ LAKE, _and two or three Whores_.
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well, if these be not they, they call whores, I'll be hanged, though I never saw one before.
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_2 Whore_.
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_3 Whore_.
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I'll send for the old alderman, Getwell, immediately: He'll father the devil's bastard, I warrant you.
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The _Wild Gallant_ has quite played out his game; He's married now, and that will make him tame; Or if you think marriage will not reclaim him, The critics swear they'll damn him, but they'll tame him.
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All that are writing now he would disown, But then he must except--even all the town; All cholerick, losing gamesters, who, in spite, Will damn to day, because they lost last night; All servants, whom their mistress' scorn upbraids; All maudlin lovers, and all slighted maids; All, who are out of humour, or severe; All, that want wit, or hope to find it here.
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patience!-- This ass brays out for silence.
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So soon to finish what is scarce begun: In this surprise should I a judgment make, 'Tis answering riddles ere I'm well awake: If you oblige me suddenly to chuse, The choice is made, for I must both refuse: For to myself I owe this due regard, Not to make love my gift, but my reward.
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As for the coffee-wits, he says not much; Their proper business is to damn the Dutch: For the great dons of wit-- Phoebus gives them full privilege alone, To damn all others, and cry up their own.
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Those who write not, and yet all writers nick, Are bankrupt gamesters, for they damn on tick.
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sweet sir,--damn'd sir!--I have but one word more to say to you.