Vulgar words in The Last of the Barons — Complete (Page 1)

This book at a glance

ass x 1
bastard x 37
blockhead x 1
make love x 2
            

Page 1

~   ~   ~   Sentence 102   ~   ~   ~

; during this period, Edward received the bastard brother of Charles, Count of Charolois, afterwards Duke of Burgundy, and arranged a marriage between Margaret and the count.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 229   ~   ~   ~

TABLE OF CONTENTS BOOK I THE ADVENTURES OF MASTER MARMADUKE NEVILE CHAPTER I The Pastime-ground of old Cockaigne II The Broken Gittern III The Trader and the Gentle; or, the Changing Generation IV Ill fares the Country Mouse in the Traps of Town V Weal to the Idler, Woe to the Workman VI Master Marmaduke Nevile fears for the Spiritual Weal of his Host and Hostess VII There is a Rod for the Back of every Fool who would be Wiser than his Generation BOOK II THE KING'S COURT CHAPTER I Earl Warwick the King-maker II King Edward the Fourth III The Antechamber BOOK III IN WHICH THE HISTORY PASSES FROM THE KING'S COURT TO THE STUDENT'S CELL, AND RELATES THE PERILS THAT BEFELL A PHILOSOPHER FOR MEDDLING WITH THE AFFAIRS OF THE WORLD CHAPTER I The Solitary Sage and the Solitary Maid II Master Adam Warner grows a Miser, and behaves Shamefully III A Strange Visitor--All Ages of the World breed World- Betters IV Lord Hastings V Master Adam Warner and King Henry the Sixth VI How, on leaving King Log, Foolish Wisdom runs a-muck on King Stork VII My Lady Duchess's Opinion of the Utility of Master Warner's Invention, and her esteem for its Explosion VIII The Old Woman talks of Sorrows, the Young Woman dreams of Love; the Courtier flies from Present Power to Remembrances of Past Hopes, and the World-Bettered opens Utopia, with a View of the Gibbet for the Silly Sage he has seduced into his Schemes,--so, ever and evermore, runs the World away IX How the Destructive Organ of Prince Richard promises Goodly Development BOOK IV INTRIGUES OF THE COURT OF EDWARD IV CHAPTER I Margaret of Anjou II In which are laid Open to the Reader the Character of Edward the Fourth and that of his Court, with the Machinations of the Woodvilles against the Earl of Warwick III Wherein Master Nicholas Alwyn visits the Court, and there learns Matter of which the Acute Reader will judge for himself IV Exhibiting the Benefits which Royal Patronage confers on Genius,--also the Early Loves of the Lord Hastings; with other Matters Edifying and Delectable V The Woodville Intrigue prospers--Montagu confers with Hastings, visits the Archbishop of York, and is met on the Road by a strange Personage VI The Arrival of the Count de la Roche, and the various Excitement produced on many Personages by that Event VII The Renowned Combat between Sir Anthony Woodville and the Bastard of Burgundy VIII How the Bastard of Burgundy prospered more in his Policy than With the Pole-axe--and how King Edward holds his Summer Chase in the Fair Groves of Shene IX The Great Actor returns to fill the Stage X How the Great Lords come to the King-maker, and with what Proffers BOOK V THE LAST OF THE BARONS IN HIS FATHERS HALLS CHAPTER I Rural England in the Middle Ages--Noble Visitors seek the Castle Of Middleham II Councils and Musings III The Sisters IV The Destrier BOOK VI WHEREIN ARE OPENED SOME GLIMPSES OF THE FATE BELOW THAT ATTENDS THOSE WHO ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS, AND THOSE WHO DESIRE TO MAKE OTHERS BETTER.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 1,358   ~   ~   ~

MASTER MARMADUKE NEVILE MAKES LOVE, AND IS FRIGHTENED.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,335   ~   ~   ~

Know that the Count of Charolois has permitted Sir Anthony Count de la Roche, his bastard brother, to come over to London, to cross lances with our own Sir Anthony Lord Scales.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,337   ~   ~   ~

"Um!" muttered Alwyn, "this bastard, then, is the carrier pigeon.--And," said he, aloud, "is it only to exchange hard blows that Sir Anthony of Burgundy comes over to confer with Sir Anthony of England?

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,479   ~   ~   ~

was the expected arrival of Anthony of Burgundy, Count de la Roche, bastard brother of Charolois, afterwards, as Duke of Burgundy, so famous as Charles the Bold.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,481   ~   ~   ~

The origin of this challenge, Anthony Woodville Lord Scales has himself explained in a letter to the bastard, still extant, and of which an extract may be seen in the popular and delightful biographies of Miss Strickland.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,486   ~   ~   ~

This step was denoted by a letter on vellum, bound with a gold thread, placed in his cap; and having obtained the king's permission to bring the adventure of the flower of souvenance to a conclusion, the gallant Anthony forwarded the articles and the enamelled flower to the Bastard of Burgundy, beseeching him to touch the latter with his knightly hand, in token of his accepting the challenge.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,511   ~   ~   ~

"A word with you, Hastings," said Montagu, thoughtfully, and he drew aside his fellow courtier: "what thinkest thou of this Burgundy bastard's visit?"

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,708   ~   ~   ~

"Your brother, Sir Count, if fame lies not," returned Edward, slightly laughing, and lightly touching the Bastard's shoulder, "were a fearful lance to encounter, even though Charlemagne himself were to revive with his twelve paladins at his back.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,741   ~   ~   ~

But to speak plainly (which your Grace's youthful candour, so all-acknowledged, will permit), the kinsmen of the queen do now so aspire to rule this land, to marry or forbid to marry, not only our own children, but your illustrious father's, that I foresee in this visit of the bastard Anthony the most signal disgrace to Warwick that ever king passed upon ambassador or gentleman.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,757   ~   ~   ~

be set aside as bastards, when Edward's life no longer shields them from the sharp eyes of men."

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,909   ~   ~   ~

While the count was dressing, the Lord Scales entered with a superb gown, clasped with jewels, and lined with minever, with which Edward had commissioned him to present the Bastard.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,932   ~   ~   ~

THE RENOWNED COMBAT BETWEEN SIR ANTHONY WOODVILLE AND THE BASTARD OF BURGUNDY.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,950   ~   ~   ~

This animal, of the pure race of Flanders, of a bulk approaching to clumsiness, of a rich bay, where, indeed, amidst the barding and the housings, its colour could be discerned, had borne the valiant Bastard through many a sanguine field, and in the last had received a wound which had greatly impaired its sight.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,951   ~   ~   ~

And now, whether scared by the shouting, or terrified by its obscure vision, and the recollection of its wound when last bestrode by its lord, it halted midway, reared on end, and, fairly turning round, despite spur and bit, carried back the Bastard, swearing strange oaths, that grumbled hoarsely through his vizor, to the very place whence he had started.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,955   ~   ~   ~

The Bastard's lance shivered fairly against the small shield of the Englishman; but the Woodville's weapon, more deftly aimed, struck full on the count's bassinet, and at the same time the pike projecting from the gray charger's chaffron pierced the nostrils of the unhappy bay, which rage and shame had blinded more than ever.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,957   ~   ~   ~

Then the debonair Sir Anthony of England, casting down his lance, drew his sword, and dexterously caused his destrier to curvet in a close circle round the fallen Bastard, courteously shaking at him the brandished weapon, but without attempt to strike.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,960   ~   ~   ~

"Ventrebleu!" quoth the Bastard, when extricated from the weight of his steed, "I cannot hold by the clouds, but though my horse failed me, surely I will not fail my companions;" and as he spoke, he placed himself in so gallant and superb a posture, that he silenced the inhospitable yell which had rejoiced in the foreigner's discomfiture.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,982   ~   ~   ~

At last, by a most dexterous stroke, Anthony Woodville forced the point of his axe into the vizor of the Burgundian, and there so firmly did it stick, that he was enabled to pull his antagonist to and fro at his will, while the Bastard, rendered as blind as his horse by the stoppage of the eye-hole, dealt his own blows about at random, and was placed completely at the mercy of the Englishman.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,983   ~   ~   ~

And gracious as the gentle Sir Anthony was, he was still so smarting under many a bruise felt through his dinted mail, that small mercy, perchance, would the Bastard have found, for the gripe of the Woodville's left hand was on his foe's throat, and the right seemed about to force the point deliberately forward into the brain, when Edward, roused from his delight at that pleasing spectacle by a loud shriek from his sister Margaret, echoed by the Duchess of Bedford, who was by no means anxious that her son's axe should be laid at the root of all her schemes, rose, and crying, "Hold!" with that loud voice which had so often thrilled a mightier field, cast down his warderer.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 3,985   ~   ~   ~

But the Bastard's martial spirit, exceedingly dissatisfied at the unfriendly interruption, rewarded the attention of the marshals by an oath worthy his relationship to Charles the Bold; and hurrying straight to the king, his face flushed with wrath and his eyes sparkling with fire,-- "Noble sire and king," he cried, "do me not this wrong!

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,001   ~   ~   ~

At this startling sentence, wholly unexpected, and yet wholly according to those laws of which Edward was so learned a judge, the Bastard's visage fell.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,003   ~   ~   ~

"Is that the law, sire?" at length faltered forth the Bastard.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,006   ~   ~   ~

"Then," quoth the Bastard, gruffly, and throwing his axe to the ground, "by all the saints in the calendar, I have had enough!

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,014   ~   ~   ~

HOW THE BASTARD OF BURGUNDY PROSPERED MORE IN HIS POLICY THAN WITH THE POLE-AXE.-AND HOW KING EDWARD HOLDS HIS SUMMER CHASE IN THE FAIR GROVES OF SHENE.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,015   ~   ~   ~

It was some days after the celebrated encounter between the Bastard and Lord Scales, and the court had removed to the Palace of Shene.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,059   ~   ~   ~

A courier had arrived that morning to apprise Edward of the unexpected debarkation of the Earl of Warwick, with the Archbishop of Narbonne and the Bastard of Bourbon,--the ambassadors commissioned by Louis to settle the preliminaries of the marriage between Margaret and his brother.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,081   ~   ~   ~

Yet had it not been for the strength of the clary, I should have kept the Bastard longer in suspense.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,098   ~   ~   ~

For the first time since the Bastard's visit he had joined in the diversions in its honour; and yet so well had Montagu played his part at the court that he did not excite amongst the queen's relatives any of the hostile feelings entertained towards his brother.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,100   ~   ~   ~

He alone of those present was aware of the cause of Warwick's hasty return, for he had privately despatched to him the news of the Bastard's visit, its real object, and the inevitable success of the intrigues afloat, unless the earl could return at once, his mission accomplished, and the ambassadors of France in his train; and even before the courier despatched to the king had arrived at Shene, a private hand had conveyed to Montagu the information that Warwick, justly roused and alarmed, had left the state procession behind at Dover, and was hurrying, fast as relays of steeds and his own fiery spirit could bear him, to the presence of the ungrateful king.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,139   ~   ~   ~

"And here, then," said Edward, as he put his lips to a gold goblet, wrought with gems, and passed it to Anthony the Bastard,--"here, count, we take the first wassail to the loves of Charolois and Margaret!"

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,174   ~   ~   ~

Ere the Bastard had concluded, Rivers, leaning back, whispered the king, "For Christ's sake, sire, select some fitter scene for what must follow!

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,180   ~   ~   ~

The Bastard sprung also to his feet; but Edward, waving him back, and reassuming the external dignity which rarely forsook him, replied, "Cousin, thy question lacketh courtesy to our noble guest: since thy departure, reasons of state, which we will impart to thee at a meeter season, have changed our purpose, and we will now that our sister Margaret shall wed with the Count of Charolois."

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,458   ~   ~   ~

"Warwick," replied the prince, "thou mayest know that I never looked with favour on that alliance; that when Clarence bore the Bastard's helmet, I withheld my countenance from the Bastard's presence.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 4,880   ~   ~   ~

"Thou art a devil to do this thing, and a blockhead to think it, O miserable friar!" exclaimed Adam, roused from all his gentleness.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 6,500   ~   ~   ~

A king's bastard is a House's pride.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 6,739   ~   ~   ~

Sir Marmaduke emptied his goblet; and really the young knight looked so fair and so gallant, in his new surcoat of velvet, that it was no marvel if he should find enough food for consolation in a court where men spent six hours a day in making love,--nor in vain.

~   ~   ~   Sentence 7,904   ~   ~   ~

"Always right, Meg,--and I'm an ass!" answered the host, in the same undertone.

Page 1