Vulgar words in The Consolidator - or, Memoirs of Sundry Transactions from the World in the Moon (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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~ ~ ~ Sentence 34 ~ ~ ~
Here I found two famous Volumes in Chyrurgery, being an exact Description of the Circulation of the Blood, discovered long before King Solomon's Allegory of the Bucket's going to the Well; with several curious Methods by which the Demonstration was to be made so plain, as would make even the worthy Doctor B------ himself become a Convert to his own Eye-sight, make him damn his own Elaborate Book, and think it worse Nonsence than ever the Town had the Freedom to imagine.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 59 ~ ~ ~
The further fatal Consequences of these unhappy Defects in Nature, where she has damn'd a Man to Wit and Rhyme, has been loss of Inheritance, Parents being aggravated by the obstinate young Beaus, resolving to be Wits in spight of Nature, the wiser Head has been obliged to Confederate with Nature, and with-hold the Birth-right of Brains, which otherwise the young Gentleman might have enjoy'd, to the great support of his Family and Posterity.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 67 ~ ~ ~
Ad---son may tell his Master my Lord ---- the reason from Nature, why he would not take the Court's Word, nor write the Poem call'd, The Campaign, till he had 200 l. per Annum secur'd to him; since 'tis known they have but one Author in the Nation that writes for 'em for nothing, and he is labouring very hard to obtain the Title of Blockhead, and not be paid for it: Here D. might understand, how he came to be able to banter all Mankind, and yet all Mankind be able to banter him; at the fame time our numerous throng of Parnassians may see Reasons for the variety of the Negative and Positive Blessings they enjoy; some for having Wit and no Verse, some Verse and no Wit, some Mirth without Jest, some Jest without Fore-cast, some Rhyme and no Jingle, some all Jingle and no Rhyme, some Language without measure; some all Quantity and no Cudence, some all Wit and no Sence, some all Sence and no Flame, some Preach in Rhyme, some sing when they Preach, some all Song and no Tune, some all Tune and no Song; all these Unaccountables have their Originals, and can be answer'd for in unerring Nature, tho' in our out-side Guesses we can say little to it.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 74 ~ ~ ~
Also you have here a Muse calcin'd, a little of the Powder of which given to a Woman big with Child, if it be a Boy it will be a Poet, if a Girl she'll be a Whore, if an Hermaphrodite it will be Lunatick.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 141 ~ ~ ~
The Inhabitants were Men, Women, Beasts, Birds, Fishes, and Insects, of the same individual Species as Ours, the latter excepted: The Men no wiser, better, nor bigger than here; the Women no handsomer or honester than Ours: There were Knaves and honest Men, honest Women and Whores of all Sorts, Countries, Nations and Kindreds, as on this side the Skies.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 180 ~ ~ ~
I desir'd no better Acquaintance in my new Travels, than this new Sociate; never was there such a Couple of People met; he was the Man in the Moon to me, and I the Man in the Moon to him; he wrote down all I said, and made a Book of it, and call'd it, News from the World in the Moon; and all the Town is like to see my Minutes under the same Title; nay, and I have been told, he published some such bold Truths there, from the Allegorical Relations he had of me from our World: That he was call'd before the Publick Authority, who could not bear the just Reflections of his damn'd Satyrical way of Writing; and there they punisht the Poor Man, put him in Prison, ruin'd his Family; and not only Fin'd him Ultra tenementum, but expos'd him in the high Places of their Capital City, for the Mob to laugh at him for a Fool: This is a Punishment not unlike our Pillory, and was appointed for mean Criminals, Fellows that Cheat and Couzen People, Forge Writings, Forswear themselves, and the like; and the People, that it was expected would have treated this Man very ill, on the contrary Pitied him, wisht those that set him there placed in his room, and exprest their Affections, by loud Shouts and Acclamations, when he was taken down.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 197 ~ ~ ~
A particular Plan of Publick Faith; and here we had the Experiment immediately made: The Representation is quallified for the Meridian of any Country, as well in our World as theirs; and turning it to'ards our own World, there I saw plainly an Exchequer shut up, and 20000 Mourning Families selling their Coaches, Horses, Whores, Equipages, &c. for Bread, the Government standing by laughing, and looking on: Hard by I saw the Chamber of a great City shut up, and Forty Thousand Orphans turn'd adrift in the World; some had no Cloaths, some no Shoes, some no Money; and still the City Magistrates calling upon other Orphans, to pay their money in.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 202 ~ ~ ~
Here we law the State of the War among Nations; Here was the French giving Sham-thanks for Victories they never got, and some body else adressing and congratulating the sublime Glory of running away: Here was Te Deum for Sham-Victories by Land; and there was Thanksgiving for Ditto by Sea: Here we might see two Armies fight, both run away, and both come and thank GOD for nothing: Here we saw a Plan of a late War like that in Ireland; there was all the Officers cursing a Dutch General, because the damn'd Rogue would fight, and spoil a good War, that with decent Management and good Husbandry, might have been eek't out this Twenty Years; there was whole Armies hunting two Cows to one Irishman, and driving of black Cattle declar'd the Noble End of the the War: Here we saw a Country full of Stone Walls and strong Towns, where every Campaign, the Trade of War was carried on by the Soldiers, with the same Intriguing as it was carried on in the Council Chambers; there was Millions of Contributions raised, and vast Sums Collected, but no Taxes lessen'd; whole Plate Fleets surpriz'd, but no Treasure found; vaft Sums lost by Enemies, and yet never found by Friends, Ships loaded with Volatile Silver, that came away full, and gat home empty; whole Voyages made to beat No body, and plunder Every body; two Millions robb'd from the honest Merchants, and not a Groat sav'd for the honest Subjects: There we saw Captains Lifting Men with the Governments Money, and letting them go again for their own; Ships fitted out at the Rates of Two Millions a Year, to fight but once in Three Years, and then run away for want of Powder and Shot.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 257 ~ ~ ~
H. had never ruin'd his Family to Marry Whore, Thief and Beggar-Woman, in one Salliant Lady, after having been told so honestly, and so often of it by the very Woman her self.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 282 ~ ~ ~
But above all, it is an excellent Remedy, and very useful to a sort of People, who are always Travelling in Thought, but never Deliver'd into Action; who are so exceeding busy at Thinking, they have no leisure for Action; of whom the late Poet sung well to the purpose; ---- Some modern Coxcombs, who Retire to Think, 'cause they have nought to do; For Thoughts were giv'n for Actions Government, Where Action ceases, Thought Impertinent: The Sphere of Action is Life's Happiness, And he that Thinks beyond, Thinks like an Ass.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 367 ~ ~ ~
The ease with which this Prince got over so considerable a Point as this, made him begin to be too credulous and to perswade himself that the Solunarian Church-Men were really in earnest, as to their Pageant-Doctrin of Non-Resistance, and that as he had seen them bear with strange extravagancies on the Crolian Part, they were real and in earnest when they Preach'd that Men ought to obey for Conscience's sake, whatever hardship were impos'd upon them, and however unjust, or contrary to the Laws of God, Nature, Reason, or their Country; what Principle in the World could more readily prompt a Prince to attempt what he so earnestly coveted, as this zealous Prince did the restoring the Abrogratzian Faith, for since he had but two sorts of People to do with; one he had crush'd by force, and had brought the other to profess it their Religion, their Duty, and their Resolution to bear every thing he thought fit to Impose upon them, and that they should be Damn'd if they resisted, the Work seem'd half done to his Hand.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 567 ~ ~ ~
The Cortez of the Nation being at the same time assembled join'd in Censuring the Book, and thus the Party blindly damn'd their own Principles for meer shame of the practice, not daring to own the thing in publick which they had underhand profest, and the fury of all Parties fell upon the poor Author.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 576 ~ ~ ~
The hot Men of the Solunarian Church damn'd him without Bell, Book, or Candle; the more Moderate pitied him, but lookt on as unconcern'd: But the Crolians, for whom he had run this Venture, us'd him worst of all; for they not only abandon'd him, but reproacht him as an Enemy that would ha' them destroy'd: So one side rail'd at him because they did understand him, and the other because they did not.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 602 ~ ~ ~
All this confirm'd the first Man's Opinion that he was a Crolian in Disguise, or an Emissary employ'd by them to ruin the Project of their Enemies; for these Crolians are damn'd cunning People in their way, and they have Mony enough to engage Hirelings to their side.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 624 ~ ~ ~
They damn Moderation in order to Peace and Union, set the House on Fire to save it from Desolation, Plunder to avoid Persecution, and consolidate Things in order to their more immediate Dissolution.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 671 ~ ~ ~
It put them upon revolving the State of their own Case, and comparing it with their Enemies; upon Examining on what foot they stood, and tho' Establish'd upon a firm Law, yet a violent Party pushing at the overthrow of that Establishment, and dissolving the legal Right they had to their Liberty and Religion; it put them upon duly weighing the nearness of their approaching Ruin and Destruction, and finding things run so hard against them, reflecting upon the Extremity of their Affairs, and how if they had not drawn in the High Church-Champions to damn the Projects of their own Party, by running at such desperate Extremes as all Men of any Temper must of course abhor, they had been undone; truly now they began to consider, and to consult with one another what was to be done.