Vulgar words in The Expedition of Humphry Clinker (Page 1)
This book at a glance
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~ ~ ~ Sentence 48 ~ ~ ~
I desire you'll clap a pad-luck on the wind-seller, and let none of the men have excess to the strong bear -- don't forget to have the gate shit every evening be dark -- The gardnir and the hind may lie below in the landry, to partake the house, with the blunderbuss and the great dog; and hope you'll have a watchful eye over the maids.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 49 ~ ~ ~
I know that hussy Mary Jones, loves to be rumping with the men.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 121 ~ ~ ~
I begged Morley to knock up the mayor, that he might interpose as a magistrate, and in the mean time I hobbled after the squire, whom I saw at a distance walking at a great pace towards the city gate -- in spite of all my efforts, I could not come up till our two combatants had taken their ground, and were priming their pistols.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 309 ~ ~ ~
The old gentleman told me last night, with great good-humour, that betwixt the age of twenty and forty, he had been obliged to provide for nine bastards, sworn to him by women whom he never saw -- Mr Bramble's character, which seems to interest you greatly, opens and improves upon me every day.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 333 ~ ~ ~
Two negroes, belonging to a Creole gentleman, who lodged in the same house, taking their station at a window in the stair-case, about ten feet from our dining-room door, began to practise upon the French-horn; and being in the very first rudiments of execution, produced such discordant sounds, as might have discomposed the organs of an ass.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 440 ~ ~ ~
God he knows what havock I shall make among the mail sex, when I make my first appearance in this killing collar, with a full soot of gaze, as good as new, that I bought last Friday of madam Friponeau, the French mullaner -- Dear girl, I have seen all the fine shews of Bath; the Prades, the Squires, and the Circlis, the Crashit, the Hottogon, and Bloody Buildings, and Harry King's row; and I have been twice in the Bath with mistress, and na'r a smoak upon our backs, hussy.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 444 ~ ~ ~
-- There is Sir Yury Micligut, of Balnaclinch, in the cunty of Kalloway -- I took down the name from his gentleman, Mr 0 Frizzle, and he has got an estate of fifteen hundred a year -- I am sure he is both rich and generous--But you nose, Molly, I was always famous for keeping secrets; and so he was very safe in trusting me with his flegm for mistress; which, to be sure is very honourable; for Mr 0 Frizzle assures me, he values not her portion a brass varthing -- And, indeed, what's poor ten thousand pounds to a Baron Knight of his fortune?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 495 ~ ~ ~
-- I wonder, Dick, you did not put me in mind of sending for my own matrasses -- But, if I had not been an ass, I should not have needed a remembrancer -- There is always some plaguy reflection that rises up in judgment against me, and ruffles my spirits -- Therefore, let us change the subject.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 511 ~ ~ ~
He sees them in their natural attitudes and true colours; descended from their pedestals, and divested of their formal draperies, undisguised by art and affectation -- Here we have ministers of state, judges, generals, bishops, projectors, philosophers, wits, poets, players, chemists, fiddlers, and buffoons.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 581 ~ ~ ~
-- 'No, madam (answered Quin, with great solemnity) my mother was not a whore of such distinction -- True it is, I am sometimes tempted to believe myself of royal descent; for my inclinations are often arbitrary -- If I was an absolute prince, at this instant, I believe I should send for the head of your cook in a charger -- She has committed felony, on the person of that John Dory, which is mangled in a cruel manner, and even presented without sauce -- O tempora!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 669 ~ ~ ~
The remark made him sore, because it seemed to tax him with want of resolution -- Wrinkling up his nose, and drawing down his eye-brows, 'A young fellow (said he) when he first thrusts his snout into the world, is apt to be surprised at many things which a man of experience knows to be ordinary and unavoidable -- This precious aunt of yours is become insensibly a part of my constitution -- Damn her!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 759 ~ ~ ~
-- But I have gi'en the dirty slut a siserary.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 863 ~ ~ ~
The fellow, who is naturally surly, was so provoked at this assault, that he saluted his ribs with a hearty kick, exclaiming, 'Damn the nasty son of a bitch, and them he belongs to!'
~ ~ ~ Sentence 967 ~ ~ ~
It is an unnatural assembly of objects, fantastically illuminated in broken masses; seemingly contrived to dazzle the eyes and divert the imagination of the vulgar -- Here a wooden lion, there a stone statue; in one place, a range of things like coffeehouse boxes, covered a-top; in another, a parcel of ale-house benches; in a third, a puppet-show representation of a tin cascade; in a fourth, a gloomy cave of a circular form, like a sepulchral vault half lighted; in a fifth, a scanty flip of grass-plat, that would not afford pasture sufficient for an ass's colt.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,057 ~ ~ ~
I wonder how lord-- first discovered this happy genius, and for what purpose lord-- has now adopted him: but one would think, that as amber has a power to attract dirt, and straws, and chaff, a minister is endued with the same kind of faculty, to lick up every knave and blockhead in his way' -- His eulogium was interrupted by the arrival of the old duke of N--; who, squeezing into the circle with a busy face of importance, thrust his head into every countenance, as if he had been in search of somebody, to whom he wanted to impart something of great consequence -- My uncle, who had been formerly known to him, bowed as he passed; and the duke seeing himself saluted so respectfully by a well-dressed person, was not slow in returning the courtesy -- He even came up, and, taking him cordially by the hand, 'My dear friend, Mr A-- (said he) I am rejoiced to see you -- How long have you been come from abroad?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,143 ~ ~ ~
He too pronounces ex cathedra upon the characters of his contemporaries; and though he scruples not to deal out praise, even lavishly, to the lowest reptile in Grubstreet who will either flatter him in private, or mount the public rostrum as his panegyrist, he damns all the other writers of the age, with the utmost insolence and rancour -- One is a blunderbuss, as being a native of Ireland; another, a half-starved louse of literature, from the banks of the Tweed; a third, an ass, because he enjoys a pension from the government; a fourth, the very angel of dulness, because he succeeded in a species of writing in which this Aristarchus had failed; a fifth, who presumed to make strictures upon one of his performances, he holds as a bug in criticism, whose stench is more offensive than his sting -- In short, except himself and his myrmidons, there is not a man of genius or learning in the three kingdoms.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,172 ~ ~ ~
And I have seen the Park, and the paleass of Saint Gimses, and the king's and the queen's magisterial pursing, and the sweet young princes, and the hillyfents, and pye bald ass, and all the rest of the royal family.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,250 ~ ~ ~
I have several times cautioned him on this subject; but 'tis all preaching to the desert -- His vanity runs away with his discretion' -- I could not help thinking the captain himself might have been the better for some hints of the same nature -- His panegyric, excluding principle and veracity, puts me in mind of a contest I once overheard, in the way of altercation, betwixt two apple-women in Spring-garden -- One of those viragos having hinted something to the prejudice of the other's moral character, her antagonist, setting her hands in her sides, replied -- 'Speak out, hussy -- I scorn your malice -- I own I'm both a whore and a thief; and what more have you to say?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,251 ~ ~ ~
-- Damn you, what more have you to say?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,284 ~ ~ ~
It was but yesterday that I saw a dirty barrow-bunter in the street, cleaning her dusty fruit with her own spittle; and, who knows but some fine lady of St James's parish might admit into her delicate mouth those very cherries, which had been rolled and moistened between the filthy, and, perhaps, ulcerated chops of a St Giles's huckster -- I need not dwell upon the pallid, contaminated mash, which they call strawberries; soiled and tossed by greasy paws through twenty baskets crusted with dirt; and then presented with the worst milk, thickened with the worst flour, into a bad likeness of cream: but the milk itself should not pass unanalysed, the produce of faded cabbage-leaves and sour draff, lowered with hot water, frothed with bruised snails, carried through the streets in open pails, exposed to foul rinsings, discharged from doors and windows, spittle, snot, and tobacco-quids from foot passengers, overflowings from mud carts, spatterings from coach wheels, dirt and trash chucked into it by roguish boys for the joke's sake, the spewings of infants, who have slabbered in the tin-measure, which is thrown back in that condition among the milk, for the benefit of the next customer; and, finally, the vermin that drops from the rags of the nasty drab that vends this precious mixture, under the respectable denomination of milk-maid.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,356 ~ ~ ~
'Calf-skin or cow-skin (replied the other) I'll find a slip of sheep-skin that will do his business -- I lost twenty pounds by his farce which you persuaded me to buy -- I am out of pocket five pounds by his damn'd ode; and now this pair of boots, bran new, cost me thirty shillings, as per receipt -- But this affair of the boots is felony -- transportation.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,428 ~ ~ ~
When we arrived at our lodgings, he commanded Mr Clinker to attend him up stairs, and spoke to him in these words -- 'Since you are called upon by the spirit to preach and to teach, it is high time to lay aside the livery of an earthly master; and for my part, I am unworthy to have an apostle in my service' -- 'I hope (said Humphry) I have not failed in my duty to your honour -- I should be a vile wretch if I did, considering the misery from which your charity and compassion relieved me -- but having an inward admonition of the spirit --' 'An admonition of the devil (cried the squire, in a passion) What admonition, you blockhead?
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,491 ~ ~ ~
Here the justice interposed, observing, that the man seemed inclined to make a discovery by turning king's evidence, and desired the clerk to take his confession; upon which Humphry declared, that he looked upon confession to be a popish fraud, invented by the whore of Babylon.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,523 ~ ~ ~
-- Two or three as bold hearts as ever took the air upon Hounslow have been blubbering all night; and if the fellow an't speedily removed by Habeas Corpus, or otherwise, I'll be damn'd if there's a grain of true spirit left within these walls we shan't have a soul to do credit to the place, or make his exit like a true born Englishman -- damn my eyes!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,526 ~ ~ ~
I never saw any thing so strongly picturesque as this congregation of felons clanking their chains, in the midst of whom stood orator Clinker, expatiating in a transport of fervor, on the torments of hell, denounced in scripture against evil-doers, comprehending murderers, robbers, thieves, and whore mongers.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 1,798 ~ ~ ~
It was with a view to laugh at his fellow-guests, as well as to mortify the lawyer, that he had emptied the bottle, when it came to his turn, and he had laughed accordingly: but now his mirth gave way to his apprehension -- He began to spit, to make wry faces, and writhe himself into various contorsions -- 'Damn the stuff!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,231 ~ ~ ~
-- The toast master, who sat at the upper end, was one Cawdie Fraser, a veteran pimp, distinguished for his humour and sagacity, well known and much respected in his profession by all the guests, male and female, that were here assembled.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,656 ~ ~ ~
He said, that in passing the sands without a guide, his horse had knocked up, and he himself must have perished, if he had not been providentially relieved by a return post-chaise.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,721 ~ ~ ~
I expect my dew when I come huom, without baiting an ass, I'll assure you.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,823 ~ ~ ~
-- The lieutenant charged himself with this commission, and immediately set out a horseback for his lordship's house, attended, at his own request, by my man Archy Macalpine, who had been used to military service; and truly, if Macalpine had been mounted upon an ass, this couple might have passed for the knight of La Mancha and his 'squire Panza.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 2,874 ~ ~ ~
She had not taste enough to relish any rational enjoyment; but her ruling passion was vanity, not that species which arises from self-conceit of superior accomplishments, but that which is of a bastard and idiot nature, excited by shew and ostentation, which implies not even the least consciousness of any personal merit.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,098 ~ ~ ~
friend, I have been sly -- sly damn'd sly!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,139 ~ ~ ~
but, for sartain, he must have dealt with some Scotch musician to bring her to this pass -- As for me, I put my trust in the Lord; and I have got a slice of witch elm sowed in the gathers of my under petticoat; and Mr Clinker assures me, that by the new light of grease, I may deify the devil and all his works -- But I nose what I nose -- If mistress should take up with Lashmyhago, this is no sarvice for me -- Thank God, there's no want of places; and if it wan't for wan thing, I would -- but, no matter Madam Baynar's woman has twenty good pounds a-year and parquisites; and dresses like a parson of distinkson -- I dined with her and the valley de shambles, with bags and golden jackets; but there was nothing kimfittable to eat, being as how they lived upon board, and having nothing but a piss of could cuddling tart and some blamangey, I was tuck with the cullick, and a murcey it was that mistress had her viol of assings in the cox.
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,483 ~ ~ ~
Last Sunday in the parish crutch, if my own ars may be trusted, the clerk called the banes of marridge betwixt Opaniah Lashmeheygo, and Tapitha Brample, spinster; he mought as well have called her inkle-weaver, for she never spun and hank of yarn in her life -- Young 'squire Dollison and Miss Liddy make the second kipple; and there might have been a turd, but times are changed with Mr Clinker -- O Molly!
~ ~ ~ Sentence 3,490 ~ ~ ~
Mr Machappy is a gentleman born, and has been abroad in the wars -- He has a world of buck larning, and speaks French, and Ditch, and Scotch, and all manner of outlandish lingos; to be sure he's a little the worse for the ware, and is much given to drink; but then he's good-tempered in his liquor, and a prudent woman mought wind him about her finger -- But I have no thoughts of him, I'll assure you -- I scorn for to do, or to say, or to think any thing that mought give unbreech to Mr Loyd, without furder occasion -- But then I have such vapours, Molly I sit and cry by myself, and take ass of etida, and smill to burnt fathers, and kindal-snuffs; and I pray constantly for grease, that I may have a glimpse of the new-light, to shew me the way through this wretched veil of tares.